I Feel Pretty
by Shanalaa
Summary: Leo feels....Pretty


Disclaimer: TMNT and everything involved with them are not mine. Whatever. Also posted over at the Turtlecest board! Yay!

I feel Pretty

Splinter's ears flickered as they caught the tell tale signs of his sons returning from their routine run in the city above their subterranean home. Picking up his tea, the aged rat left the kitchen to greet them, and froze when he saw his eldest being supported between Raphael and Michelangelo.

"What happened?" he demanded, pushing aside his fear, well trained eyes searching for signs of serious injury. Aside from some scrapes and bruises, there didn't appear to be any, which made his fear push itself back and grow at the thought of possible internal injuries.

Before Donatello, who was slightly ahead of his brothers, could answer, Leonardo raised his head, grinning widely and exclaimed, "Hello, father!" He attempted a stern look as he added, "Were we good while you were gone?"

Mikey snickered and confusion filled Splinter's features as the trio made their way to the couch, dropping Leo down on it.

"He's not hurt, father," Donny said, drawing Splinter's attention to him. "Nothing serious, anyway."

Relief quickly made its way through Splinter, but it was short lived as Leo giggled from the couch and muttered something about fireflies and peanut butter. "What is wrong with him, Donatello?" he asked.

Don glanced over at Leo, sighed and said, "He's been exposed to a high concentration of Dinitrogen Monoxide." At Splinter's confused look, he translated, "Laughing gas."

"Laughing gas?" Splinter repeated with another glance at Leo, who was laughing hysterically at something Mikey had just said, much to the youngest turtle's great joy.

Don nodded, looking less than thrilled. "Yeah. We ran into a group of Purple Dragons causing trouble and, naturally, intervened. Some of them ran into an old warehouse and Leo went in after them while we dealt with the rest. Since we were separated, I don't know exactly what happened, but when we finally went into the warehouse, we found three Dragons holding Leo down with a mask attached to a large canister over his face, and a fourth Dragon about to run Leo through with his own sword.

Naturally, we took them out right away, and I was able to determine what it was they were making him breath. I'm confident he'll be all right once it wears off." He frowned and added, "I'd love to know how they managed to get him into that position in the first place. It's not like he's an easy catch."

Raph snorted from his seat next to his giggling brother. "Better question is where to get more of that stuff." He grinned, looking at Mikey for support as he added, "I rather like him this way."

Mikey's vigorous nods were cut short at Splinter's sharp, "Raphael! Michelangelo! This is not as humorous a situation as you think it is! Leonardo could have been seriously hurt or worse! I do not wish to hear you say such things again. Understood?"

Both Raph and Mikey wore appropriately chastised looks as they nodded. "Yes, Master Splinter," they chorused in unison.

Leo, who had been humming happily to himself during Splinter's rebuke, suddenly looked up and said, "Aw, don't be glum, father! All is well!" He leaned forward, a conspiratory look filling his face as he asked, "Do you know why everything is well?"

A wary expression slipped through Splinter's eyes as he carefully replied, "No, my son. Why is everything well?"

"Because…" Leo paused, glancing around before jumping up, grabbing Splinter and forcing him into a waltz around the room as he started singing, "I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity Any girl who isn't me tonight."

At the word 'tonight,' he dipped Splinter, and Don, who had been watching in shock with the other two, sprang into action to rescue their father. "All right Leo, let father go," he said, working his way in between the pair and forcing Leo to release their sensei.

Without missing a beat, Leo latched on to Don and continued to sing as he waltzed them around the room. "I feel charming, Oh, so charming It's alarming how charming I feel! And so pretty That I hardly can believe I'm real. See the pretty girl in that mirror there: Who can that attractive girl be? Such a pretty face, Such a pretty dress, Such a pretty smile, Such a pretty me!"

Unable to help themselves, Raph and Mikey had collapsed into fits of hysterical laughter, neither one of them feeling inclined to aid their smartest brother. Splinter could only stand there, flabbergasted as he watched, not entirely sure what he should do. It was only when Mikey appeared with a video camera that Splinter snapped out of his stupor and, with a pointed look at Raph, moved forward to aid Don.

"Enough, Leonardo," the elderly master said as Raph managed to pry him off Don. "I do believe," Splinter continued, "that it is time for you to retire for the night. You have had a rather…busy evening."

Leo blinked, looking at Raph. "I did?"

Raph smirked. "Yeah, bro, you did. You're totally beat right now," he said as guided Leo toward his room, Mikey trailing behind with the camera.

"But I don't feel beat," Leo protested. He paused, the silly grin returning as he launched into another verse of 'I feel Pretty.'

"I feel stunning And entrancing, Feel like running and dancing for joy, For I'm loved By a pretty wonderful boy!" He stopped, grabbing Raph's face and, before the turtle in red knew what was happening, Leo was giving him a wet and sloppy kiss right on the mouth!

Raph's eyes widened and, after a few seconds, shook off his shock and roughly pushed Leo away, who fell back on his bed, laughing in delight. Raph stood there, wiping his mouth clean of spit and trying to decide who to pound first….Leo, who didn't have a clue what he was doing….or Mikey, who had video taped the whole thing and was laughing right along with Leo. In the end, the choice was pretty clear and, with a howl of rage, he turned and took off after Mikey, who had seen the signs of impending doom and had raced off while he could.

Splinter and Don looked at each other, Don rolling his eyes as he said, "I'll take care of Leo, father. You'd better intervene in that." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, toward the sound of world war three. Splinter nodded in agreement and, with one last look at Leo, silently turned and left.

Don made his way over to Leo's bed, a little smile on his lips despite himself. "All right, Maria," he murmured as he maneuvered Leo under the covers. "Get some sleep. I have a feeling you'll need it in order to head off possible blackmail in the morning."

Leo blinked up sleepily at Don, yet another happy little grin playing across his lips. "Love you, Donny," he murmured.

Don smiled, patting Leo's arm as he said, "Love you too, bro. Go to sleep."

Leo sighed, eyes drifting closed. Donny carefully stood and silently moved toward the door. Before he left the room, however, he heard a softly whispered, "I feel Pretty…"

END!

Song disclaimer: Music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.  
© 1956, 1957 Amberson Holdings LLC and Stephen Sondheim. Copyright renewed.  
Leonard Bernstein Music Publishing Company LLC, Publisher.


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